‘Self Love’
12/07/17
I always wondered why I always take it hard on myself.
I always think I have it all planned out,
But there’s that empty space in my heart.
Feels like I’m chasing love.
Am I just there for the feeling, or am I just scared of being lonely?
Do you know how dangerous this is when I get to think about it?
You have this empty void and you decide to cloud it,
Rather than to do some soul research.
This emptiness made me look for love in weird places and burn all my bridges.
The love I received was like a drug, I was addicted.
Little did I know, I would soon lack my dose and get withdrawals.
This made me mentally ill because it gave me anxiety.
You know what killed me?
Having to keep asking yourself if you’re worth it,
Or am I going to keep justifying myself just to be consoled,
And slowly die in the inside?
It took all these bad choices to finally discover the most important fact :
I was lacking ‘ ‘self love’.
How stupid was I to realize this now and made me realize that,
You can’t offer what you don’t have.
I couldn’t and still can’t believe till now, I lack some self love.
Now is when I can get to connect the dots.
This is what was at a miss and this is where,
All of this pain, anger and crooked decisions sourced from.
I need that confidence, esteem and appreciation of oneself,
To be able to offer love to someone else.
Trust me it’s so hard, when you realize that,
You have to start at that delicate part you know…
To start with, I need to let go of everything or anyone
That is making me feel like I have to try / please them.
It’s really unhealthy and difficult holding on to a love where,
You are not assured or do not know if they really need you.
I guess I have to concentrate on me first,
Gain some positive vibes and energy,
To be able to transfer this energy to my ecosystem.
I N I'S BLOG 